i finally have time for a proper blog post.
oh manz, it was one crazy week which ended real bad on friday...idk why, but i feel like i havent been progressing much at work. i feel like my work quality is in fact depproving. idk whats happening to me. its really frustrating to disappoint myself and others.
i guess, fri was a wake up call. after all the questions boss threw to me, i realised how incompetent and how lost i was. i totally didn't know how to explain to her. i really hope i'll improve faster soon, because i dont want to be a liability to boss. haizz :( this is so upsetting.
sometimes i ask myself, why am i hanging on so tightly and why am i trying so hard? i guess its cos i wanna prove myself to others and myself as well. i wanna prove that i'm not that lousy and that no matter how difficult the path is, i can survive it well. but i can't keep this mindset for long. its alr more or less gone. now, when i think of work, all that comes to my mind is negativity and fear especially.
idk if its cos im too stress or wat, but i really feel like giving up. and i must say, its really very mentally draining to have to constantly try and inject positivity into myself. haizz...sometimes, i feel so alone. but i guess, thats life. no true friends when ur at work..sad but thats reality.
ok, i'm tired..idk wat im writing alr..nitez
