Sunday, November 13, 2011
xiao mei has been overseas for more than a week alr. i can't wait for her to come back. I guess, daddy and mummy has been giving me lots of food for thought lately, some of which is really worth thinking about. However, thinking about it makes me scared, idk why. I guess, its really because i haven't been seriously planning for the future and the stuffs to think about is really about the future. idk..i feel very naive. Even though i've been working for about 4 mths already, i still feel like a little kid trying to survive in the adult world. kinda tough but i think i'll survive somehow.
Sometimes, i really feel like giving up. idk how long i can handle this. but i keep telling myself to hang on, to prove to myself that i'm not that weak.. Sometimes i really hate myself for being so weak. I used to be alot stronger, but it seems like i no longer am. The slightest negative comments makes me wanna give up. I really duno what has happened to me. Haiz..maybe its God's way of reminding me that i need His help, that i need to rely on him more, so i need to get my r/s with Him back on track again.
Dear Lord,
i know i cannot do this alone. Please be with me to guide me. Help me to know that you are always with me and that you will never leave me. Lord, please carry me in your everlasting arms and bring me through this till the very end. Help me to be strong. Please take control of my life Lord.