rawr i'm not good enough, i'm incompetent, i'm slower in understanding, i'm not good at what i'm studying. yes that i know it all, but to make up for all these weaknesses, i put in extra effort to try and keep up and stay afloat...i was at a point where i totally wanted to give up on myself because i felt so lousy that i was so incompetent and even hard work isn't bringing me anywhere, until yesterday, yesterday at sava where i was reminded by a live example that hard work will pay off and all that is thanks to my darling teammates who rowed an awesome set yesterday. yes, i believe in hard work. i believe that if i try my best and keep pushing myself and just stand up and carry on from where i fell, i'll get somewhere someday. idk why im saying so much because its not sth that u will understand. the struggles of someone less competent than u, its what u will never understand because u can always still get results or whatever you want with minimal effort put in. that pisses me off sometimes but time and time again, i tell myself that everyone is different and im special cos of who i am and i shldn't compare myself with anyone but myself. and thats hard, cos im obviously someone who is quite competitive. i guess all this time, i had to manage so many things on hand, that i've kinda gotten used to it, and i think i handle stress better, but u obviously dont handle stress well when ur with ppl cos u just say things without thinking in whatever tone u want, and that upsets me. im no one to control u or tell u off or say u or wat so i just kept quiet when u used that tone on me. and the world dosne't revolve around u. i guess all that is on the surface is all an act. when one party snaps, the ugly side of things will be revealed. i hope that day will never come but i dun have a good feeling about this.. haiz o wells..no point saying so much...i just wanted somewhere to rant....
