Sunday, June 27, 2010
haiz..it sucks..not being able to be part of the majority...i mean everyone wants to be part of the majority...some try too hard...some dun even have to try...some can try and never be part of it...i guess..i'm the one tat gave up trying..i no longer want to try to fit in at the expense of losing my own identity..i know this sounds like wat i posted yesterday but yea..its how i really feel...
sometimes idk why im always trying so hard in everything when all i get at the end of the day is nth...nth at all...or rather...all i get is scoldings and naggings...every time i get scolded i try my best to defend myself, my passion, my interest and most of all my dearest friends...but sometimes i wonder why i try so hard to defend all of the above when i know that what the person scolding me is saying is the truth la...trying to prove them wrong when deep down inside me i know that they are right really sucks...contradicting as it may sound...its a fact i guess...
haiz...i guess everything in life is easier said than done seriously...everyone says one thing but no action is done..or maybe there is..minimal but i dun see it..i dun feel it and it makes me damn sian...i dun feel the desire to want to achieve sth..i dun feel tat everyone is one..idk..i just feel very distant from everyone and everything...idk if its just me or wat..but it really sucks...i know im in no position to say anything..cos i suck..im not good enough....but..wth..i know im trying to improve and get better and stronger...i know that im pushing alot already...but...haizzz in situations like this...really damn sian...
as much as i wanted to control it..i couldn't...it just came rolling down...haizz...never thought that it would come rolling down so easily....sorry rf u had to see that side of me..the side that i dun like to show...sorry gal....haiz...
when you're not as impt..no one really cares about your presence or your absence..harsh reality...sucks to be me....haiz o wells..