Thursday, December 31, 2009
hmm...2009 has been an emotional roller coaster ride and it wasn't an easy year for me at all...i rmb that somewhere in the first or second quarter of the year, i said that i want the year to end quickly so that i could start a new year on a better note...i guess, without me knowing, time has really flown past...idk if its just my imagination or what but i felt everything this year happened in fast forward mode...i guess there's both pros and cons to it...
2009 has been filled with a lot of tears and sleepless nights i must admit...there were times where i really felt so alone and lonely and i just wanted a nice big hug from a friend but at that time i just couldn't get it...i guess this year has been filled with the most tears in my teenage years...but i hope i grew stronger after all that crying..haha...hmm i guess since i said it wasn't an easy year for me, it is needless to say that there were really many times i felt like giving up...and i felt like breaking down to badly because i felt that the thin string i was hanging on to was going to snap...but thank God i surivied and i think if it wasn't for God i might not have survived this year..
hmm i also feel that this year is quite different for me...because after japan trip, i started working part time and studying at the same time...i must admit that it really wasn't easy..there were many times where i really felt like giving up..i really felt like breaking down due to excessive stress....but i really want to thank all my friends that made me hang on to the very thin string i was surviving on...i guess it could just have been ur small little actions that really meant alot to me..so thank you my friends for everything...
hmm i think there were alot of first times for me this year...and maybe thats why it was so difficult for me because i had no experience at all in dealing with those kind of situations...rawrr...but i survived thanks to all my friends and family..oh and im really thankful that mummy and daddy allowed me to go for the japan study trip because it was really very memorable..
i guess despite of all the trials i've faced this year, i've learnt alot as well...and i guess whatever i've learnt is all thanks to certain ppl...and im very grateful for them...hmm the same for each year that goes by, there'll be both good and bad memories...for me..im really grateful for both the good and bad memories i've had and i want to thank those who made these memories for me...and i just want you to know that all these mean alot to me and i'll always rmb them...
hmm i feel that 2009 has made me grown stronger as an individual because of all those experiences that i've had and all the mistakes i've made and all the screw ups that happened...hmm i guess that some of these experiences have created a fear inside of me....idk if its good or bad..but...yea i guess i need to learn to overcome it and open up my heart again..
hmm as 2009 comes to an end...i really hope that 2010 will be a much better year for me..i really hope i'll be able to overcome and deal with my problems with more confidence and more independently because i realised that i've become over dependent on a particular person which isn't very good..so yea..rawrr i have to learn to deal wtih it myself...
i guess the only reason why i survived this year is because of all my friends who have been there for me when i needed a listening ear and a crying shoulder..or just a nice warm hug....so since i got so many ppl to thank...i'll end off my post with "thank you" messages to some people...eh if i din include u it dosen't mean ur not special or important k? im really grateful for everything that everyone has done for me...
to scandal:
my dearest dearest friend...you know you mean alot to me!! i really must thank you for everything that u've done for me this year..everything you've given me esp your precious time and for all the memories you created for me...thanks alot..really...hmm even though this year i din get to see much of you because of your A levels...im really happy that i could attend EYR with you and still go out with you even before your last paper ended...i really wnat to thank you for all the times u've cheered me up and for all precious words of advise you have given me..thank you for everything and im really sorry if i've not been listening to you rant much..im sorry..i promise i'll listen to you rant more k? haha if u even want to come to me and whine and complain and all la..haha im always here =) and i hope you'll be able to find the best way out from all ur problems as well...i love you dear!! hugs hugs...
to ruifang:
RF!! thank you for being with me when i really needed someone to pass time with esp after you know what la hur..haha thanks alot for always listening to me complain and talk bout things even though u might not know what to say after all i've said..but like i always tell you..listening to me is good enough.l..thanks alot gal...im really touched by how selfless you were...esp when u told me that u were willing to spend time with me even though u had to cancel ur other programs and i was really touched when u told me that so thanks alot....thanks for always walking to SB when we were going to meet up also haha =) study hard in the new year ahead k? and train real hard too!!! and once again..thanks for everything gal =)
to ju and stella:
thanks gals for tolerating my constant mood swings and crap in sch...i guess it must have been quite abit to handle hur...im sorry for always being so whiny and always complaining about so many things...i really need to thank you girls because if not for you 2 i might not have been able to survive...thanks alot for always listening to me and cheering me up...i really love train rides home with you gals...thanks alot for everything...stella..thanks for all the advise you always give me and thanks for being so sensitive and caring also...ju ...thanks for always bringing joy to our boring sch life...thanks for always trying to lighten up the atmosphere when it gets too tense....oh and thanks for being so crazy in japan also haha it was really really fun...oh oh and the gyoza u cooked hahaha its really nice =) hmm i guess we have to work real hard in the new year and the new acadamic year as well..so gambatte!!
to kor:
kor!! thanks alot alot alot alot for helping me through all the obstacles i've faced this year..really if not for you..i'll probably have died a long time ago...THANK YOU!!! thank you for always listening to me and scolding me hur esp when i say "IDK" HAHHA thanks for all your stupid lame jokes...although its not funny sometimes hahaa oopx =x and dun say u want to smack me after u read this...hehe i think i have so much to thank you for that if i write it all out..it'll probably take forever..hahha so in summary...thanks for taking time out to listen to all my shit...thanks for being so concerned and protective also...and..you know i love you right kor? hahhaha lol just as long as u dun smack me hahahahahah =x lalala
to josh:
hey u might not know this but i was really really very happy when u started working at subway with me...thanks for making my work life more interesting..even though u kept saying the bread i made was not ncie but..hahaa yea thanks for adding some colour to my work life haha and thanks for always being there for me..to listen to me and to give me the hugs that i really needed at that point of time....without you i think i might have just gave up working a long time ago...thank you for being so observant and sensitive and always being so willing to listen even though u already had ur own set of problems...thank you for the times when u walked me home after work and for the times when u spent time giving me advise and all after or before work..thanks alot for everything...somehow u always did sth for me when i most needed someone to be there...thanks for helping me to hold on when i felt like breaking down and just giving up everything..hmm like i said u might not have know that ur small little actions mean so much to me..so now...you know yea..
to kevin:
my dearest friend!! hahhaha thank you for all the msn conversations...for the times u entertained me online with your guitar through video call...thanks for the times we exchanged stories..thanks for those late night/early morning conversations..i was really happy to hear your voice those times after such a long time la..hahaha and thanks for all the encouragement you've always given me..and and and most importantly..all the reminders for me to always turn to God in prayer and to ask him for help...thanks alot...it really meant alot to me cos there were many times ur reminders were very apt...thanks for bringing me back on the right track when i drifted away..haha..it was also really really ncie being in the same EYR group as you..haha jia you in the new year yea!! hugs hugs
to andrew:
thanks alot for the warnings and advise u gave me from the very beginning when you knew about the situation...and im really sorry i barely listened to you at that point in time because somehow i was controlled by my heart so yea..rawrr lousy excuse i know...but...still thanks for listening to me even after i din listen to ur advise..and thanks for being so patient as well...thanks for sacrificing that extra bit of sleep u could have gotten to listen to me and give me advise...oh and thanks for introducing me to YFP..it was really good...thanks for also helping me with my finance modules...thanks esp for the times when u tutored me before my exams...thanks for helping to clear my doubts when it came to projects and of course thanks for looking through them for me....thanks alot for the times you drove me home too!! hahah and i just wanna say that i think you've taught me quite abit from all the advise you have given me...rawrr like you told me the other day..haha i know im really very full of crap but all in all..i really thank you for being soooo patient with me in everything even though im so full of crap..haha i hope the new year will be a splendid one for you and jia you with work too!!
to manny:
hey..thanks for being there when i needed a listening ear..thanks for all the advise that you've given me..thanks for comforting me when i really wanted to break down..thanks for helping me move on...thanks for being so patient with me when i started to get really full of crap when im complaining and ranting...thanks alot for everything...im really thankful you were there for me after that sth happened because i was really so lost and i din know what to do..thanks for helping me get myself back together and pick myself up from where i fell...bleah...and thanks also for the times where u were killing my boredom in sch by chatting with me hahhah i know im a naughty girl at times but yea..hahha thanks for all your encouragement too =) oh and thanks for the many times when u drove me home =) haha
to best friend:
hey there!! thanks for the times you sent me home and helped me with my bags and stuffs haha thanks for helping me with my work when im so lost and blur...thanks for cheering me up when im down...thanks for always lending a listening ear =) jia you wiht everything in the new year yea!!
to a special someone:
thanks for all the memories you gave me...both the good and the bad..thanks for the really sweet moments...thanks for everything that you've taught me..thanks for the time we spent together...thanks for the times we went out for movies or just to chill...thanks for the times we spent in sch just doing nth sometimes...thanks for the times when u sent me home even though it was out of the way..thanks for the times when u comforted me when i got scolded and all...thanks for the long bus rides and all....it was really nice..and im really happy to have gotten to know you...even though we had our fair share of rough patches...i guess im satisfied that i've learnt from it...the mistakes i made..the screw ups that happened...the stuufs that i shld have done but didn't do..rawrr and lastly..im sorry if i've hurt you in any way...but i really thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything...every single thing...i hope next year will be a good year for you...
ok..so thats all for my last post of 2009....and once again..a big thank you to everyone who has added colours to my life and for everyone who has been there for me when i needed someone and also thanks alot to those that i din mention above for every single thing!! haha love you guys!!