Wednesday, November 25, 2009
to you:
thank you for always trying to make me smile
thank you for always trying to help me relax
thank you for encouraging me to study
thank you for coming to visit me during work
thank you for walking me home, even though it was already very late
thank you for always taking the same train as me
thank you for accompanying me to wait for my bus
thank you for showing ur concern through ur constant naggings hehe
thank you for those "morning calls"
thank you for helping me with my school work
thank you for being so patient esp when teaching me how to do tutorials
thank you for giving me that kind of attention
thank you for making me feel good
thank you for making me feel important
thank you for all those phone calls
thanks for always trying to cure my boredom
thanks for those sweet sms-es
thank you for that wednesday
thank you for your courage to tell me how you feel
thanks for your feelings for me
thank you for everything you have done for me so far
most importantly...thanks a milion for being my friend
i'm really really very sorry...i know, thats probably the last word u want to hear from me...but i can't do anything now but apologize right? haiz i know ur hurting alot now...i know it hurts when u saw me in sch today...i could tell from your expression. haiz..i'm sorry if i've gave u the wrong idea through my actions..im sorry for leaving you hanging even after i knew how you felt..its all because i didn't know what to do...i just dun trust myself enough on this...i can't risk it another time to try it out or sth..because i know that will hurt you even more. you're a really nice friend to have and my plan was to find a way to solve this without hurting anyone, but, i think i failed and im sincerely sorry. i know in a situation like this, either one of us will get hurt, or maybe both of us will get hurt, but i really tried my best to minimise the hurt by trying to change ur thought process abit.
idk if i was right and im sorry for not asking the reason as well. i guess thats one thing i overlooked, but i really hope that you'll feel better soon...i know i was and still am being very selfcentered or selfish u might say, but i really want to hold on to this friendship. i know i shld give u some time to sort out ur thoughts and feelings and all, but im really very scared.
last night after i told you all those things, i was really afraid i destroyed our friendship. although we have not known each other for very long, it still means alot to me. i really really hope we can con'd to be good friends and con'd to get to know and understand each other better. honestly, i got even more afraid when u dao-ed me in sch today..i mean i was wrong to expect sth..but i was really afraid that this really marked the end. i think you might have realised that im someone who needs a great sense of security and assurance, so please forgive me if im trying too hard to hold on to this friendship...
hmm idk what else to say....but i just want you to know and believe me that whatever i've said these few days....it hurts me to say it as well because i know what it is like to be on the receiving end in this situation. i've been there before and thus i know it sucks..but i really hope u'll be able to pick yourself up again and find back that cheery side of you again. i know its not easy for you, but i really hope you'll try k? please? because i dun want to see you so down and emo again...even though i knew all these i still had to say it to you because since it has only been a short period of time, the hurt now will not be that great as compared to if i told you all these at a later time. so once again, sorry and thank you for everything. please take good care of yourself yea, and always know that i'm always here for you as a good friend if you do need anything.