Wednesday, July 08, 2009
ok now i speak for myself. i know that many times i do things that people don't agree with or they don't understand why i do those things, and on my part i fail to give a proper explanation or maybe if i give too detailed an explanation, then it'll defeat the purpose of me doing those stuffs. i guess many times, the things i do dosen't correspond with what i'm thinking or what i'm feeling. More often that not, sometimes even without me realising, my actions and words actually contridict each other. I don't know if its because of this that its hard for people to understand why i do certain things or why i feel a certain way whatsoever. But sometimes, i really wish that the people around me could understand why i feel what i feel and why i do what i do. =(
I know i tend not to communicate my feelings well enough, or rather, sometimes i hide my true feelings, but i guess the people who knows me well will know how i really feel. However, i guess there aren't many of these people anymore. Those people that used to know me very well, hmm shld i say i did sth wrong and thus destroyed the friendship? but thats not the main point. my point is that IS IT REALLY SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ME? DO I REALLY GIVE PEOPLE LIKE THEM SUCH A BAD IMPRESSION WHEN IT COMES TO THOSE STUFFS???
sometimes i really wish i could tell those people how i really feel and what kind of attitude i have towards those stuffs, but i have no idea why i can't do it! is it because i always have to prove it by actions and not words, so much so that i don't see a point in trying to use words to explain anymore? but the thing is the outcome of my actions and my actions do not always match and are not always proportionate. I should say, sometimes i feel that i don't deserve such a outcome, but what can i do? explanation won't help i guess because the outcome is all that matters right? haiz ='(
='( but i guess, i just have to con'd to try proving it by actions even though its not going to be easy. i guess its going to be quite draining, but i'll try ='(
somtimes i just wish that .................... haiz o wells ='(