Saturday, March 28, 2009
anyway, skating under the hot sun brings back memories of dragon boat(db) trainings. I miss those trainings even though it was tough and draining. I guess, all these time, i've been running away from my feelings. I chose not to face up to my feelings honsestly. Time and time again when i was asked why i quit, i said i lost interest, but now, i feel that wasn't the case. I guess there must be another reason why i quitted. Whenever i could, i just chose not to talk about db. I chose to disconnect myself from anything that would bring back memories of db. gosh. i was really running away because it was really painful to leave the team, even though it might seem otherwise to my team mates. I guess, some of my friends will realize that i've said negative stuffs about it, but i guess i never really meant what i said. I guess i said those stuffs to deceive myself. To deceive myself that i made the right decision. haiz...since i made that decision, i'll live with the consequence whatever it may be. gosh. i really miss the times i spent with the team. All those memories, good or bad will always remain in my heart.
Today, i decided to skate towards lagoon (where the food center is). As i skated past the food center, i started thinking of a friend. I guess, that place really brings back memories of the both of us. We used to cycle there, and it was not only the 2 of us. We cycled with mummy, daddy and xiao mei too. gosh. those were the times i really loved and miss now. o wells. I guess, i'll just have to keep all these in my heart, because i don't think we'll get to do it again. i should have not taken all those times for granted. never did i think things will reach this kind of stage, haiz..o wells..
Skating alone has its advantages too i guess, it allows me to think about stuffs and recall memories of the past. Lots of thoughts were running in my mind while i was skating. I just wanted to skate on and on and on...but unfortunately, i couldn't. I think i want to get my fitness level up again. I want to be fit again. I've not been jogging for a very long time, but i think its time for me to start again. This time, i must get my fitness back again and train my mental strength too. gosh..i miss those runs with the team =(((