Sunday, December 21, 2008
sometimes when we say "yes" to something..we dun really know wat we are going to be in for until we really experience it...many a times we dun understand the meaning or reason behind why we are doing certain things...but i guess as time goes by, we'll soon understand....
its not easy to committed to something...its never easy no matter how much u love doing that thing that u are committed to....along our journey we have to renew the commitment we made at the begininng in some way or other....
ok..tats wat fr. said during mass today..sth lildat...i can't really rmb the exact words..but i feel that today's homily was like 'targeted' at me...
today i went to nativity for mass....it feeling is different liao..but the homily was goooood.....alot of thoughts went through my mind...o wells..ya even though the feeling is different..i still miss the times i spent almost my whole sunday there with my friends...cos no matter wat they were the friends tat were with me throughout my sec skool life....they were the seniors that taught me how to serve god....they were the ones who brought me so much closer to god....and most importantly...they were the ones who were there for me most of the time...thanks guys..i'll keep all those memories in my heart....
hmm..din get to see alot of ppl today....but saw scandal..lao ren...isa jie...clare...ben tan...hmm..yea tats about it....i noe i shldn't be saying this but i guess the standard really drop....i hope my juniors (eh not really counted as my jrs but..o wells) will improve quickly....but i guess its wats inside their heart that matters...its how much they want to serve God ba...so i gues im in no position to say anything...
ahh all i can say is i really miss the people there although we weren't that close or are not tat close anymore...i guess its hard to remain good friends after one has left the community...tats how i feel ba...cos its like the gap will juz get bigger...even though we were like good friends then...its very different already....quite sad..but i guess thats how things are...
i guess the only reason why i juz left lildat was because my faith wasn't strong enough...FAITH is something very important...i need to have more FAITH in God...if God ask me to let go of the tree branch im holding on for survival in the middle of the river or sth....i'll let go..only if i let go can i let god help me....even now...i need to have more FAITH...im sorry guys...i noe there are some problems within the youth here and there but i can't seem to be of any help now...im really sorry...if i had enough faith and trust in god..i guess i would not have let go lildat...because i would have believed that God will help me in everything i do and i won't have a problem with my time-management....sorry guys....but i'll pray for u all and hope that things will be back to normal again...
Dear Lord, i pray that u'll help me have more faith and trust in you..help me to have faith that with ur help everything will go fine...help me to trust in u....dear lord..i've lost the faith and trust i once had...i guess its cos of the lack of prayer these days...i pray that u help me get back on the right track lord...bring me closer to u once again lord...i really want to bridge the wide gap between us now...lord..i really pray that u'll help me....
hmm..actually got more emo things to blog but i guess i shall spare u all from it by not posting it ba...