Friday, December 26, 2008
i really duno...now i have to be active in church and join a church grp if i wanna go tioman with my team mates...now i cannot even go for a single training on sundays if i want to go tioman with my team mates..but the thing is..if i dun go tioman..i noe i still won't be able to go for trainings on sundays and i still have to be active in church again...its juz daddy's way of slowly making me change paths somehow...so wat do i do now? i reallly duno...scandal ask me to try out joining a church grp.........but....i noe i can't cope..tats for sure...argh...inside of me is a lot of vulgarities that i cannot use...haiz..
im trying really hard to keep afloat..but i guess its to no avail....i can't even handle myself and scandal asked me to save others...how can i do that? i'll be the first to drown dear...i'll be the first one dead...haiz...but im struggling within me..although i dun show my worries or difficulties im struggling within real hard...i duno wat to do now...argh why can't i have better mental strength?!?! maybe daddy was right? but albert is also right(thinks about the convo we had a few weeks ago) DIE la..arghhhhh HELP ARH!!!!
dear lord...i really need ur help!!!!!! im really lost now..or rather..im stuck at a crossroad and i duno which path to take..move back move front..move left or right?!?!?1 i duno i duno...HELP ME!!!!!
sian i like haven't been getting proper sleep la..too many things on my mind liao...ok muz find time go ecp emo....and let everything out..hmm..actually i duno wat im talking about i emo so much liao..haiz..o wells..nvm its the emo season again...yea but i wanna go ecp emo