Saturday, November 15, 2008
tmr have girls time trial...i hope we do well...haha...
so after training went home rested awhile then off to church with my parents and xiao mei...after church went for dinner at parkway then walk walk abit then home...hmm..mass today was good and abit bad...made me realise a few things...and i think i've made my decision....mass today made me realise how far i've drifted away from God...how distant from church i've been...how shallow my faith has been....i really miss the times when i was so involoved in church...the times when i was so close to God and i could feel his presence and love...now...God to me is juz nth much...not much meaning liao...i can't carry on like this anymore...i need to do sth about it....but by making my decision...i'll juz be contridicting watever i juz said..o wells...i guess...letting go is a way to start afresh somewhere else...
mass today also made me realise tat some things i could do or achieve in the past...i can no longer do it....i guess i've taken it for granted cos my piano teacher kept saying tat its in me...and i can do it very easily...but i guess i need to get it back now..cos it means a lot to me..i need to get my musical feel back again...its been around 6 months since i stopped piano lessons liao....its a very long time...i've not touched the piano in 6 months but i think i'll touch it soon...i hope..i need to get the feel back again..i dun want it to go to waste...music is a part of my life...not juz playing the piano....o wells nvm i'll shall not continue to elaborate on this..
i guess things changed and i am no longer the germaine i used to be...the super guai and super obedient girl....i suddenly dun want to grow up so fast...because i feel that the world out there is juz too big and scary....its like..hmm..o wells..very hard to explain..nvm...anyway..i'll juz enjoy the rest of my teenage life first..haha..other things later then worry...o wells...
today was juz awkward...i din noe how to react..i din noe wat to do..so i chose to ignore...i noe tats not right...but i really duno wat to do liao....im gonna try my luck to talk to u online...but if u dun respond or tell me anything then it'll con'd to be awkward for sure...argh..save me from this can....argh..argh..its driving me crazy...