Sunday, May 11, 2008
ahhhhhhhhh i duno..and now im having a conversation with chris and doug and susanna and its kind of getting nowhere..argh...can't stand it..i dun like to do things half way..but i really feel like giving up....i duno why..but the feelings juz really very strong...haiz..ahhh i really duno...*slaps face* ger wat are u thinking?!?!?!?!?!? are u crazy? *slaps slaps slaps* i duno la....its really very demoralizing but even if i leave the comm..i dun tink it'll make a difference..im juz insignificant and not needed..im juz an extra person occupying an extra space..... haiz...o wells......ok..and the turn out for nyc is saddening too..like wat i only have 2 consent forms now...PPL WHERE ARE MY CONSENT FORMS?!?!?! o wells..shall stop here...
haiz..is this the way church is supposed to work? politics...etc etc...i really hate it..why isn't church the way it is before? where it was so warm and welcoming...where everyone was friends....church was a place i wanted to go so often cos it felt like my second home..now..things are so different..i dun feel wat i feel when i go to church...where has all the warmth gone to? where has all the friendship gone to? all the times we spent..listening to each other..helping each other...comforting each other..all these will always be in my memories..but.....things in church will never be the same as before..to me.....haiz...sad..ok..better stop before i start crying...=(