Saturday, September 16, 2006
hmm..this week in skool has not been good at all..firstly..so many test..can't stand it..so much work..exams are coming...argh..ok..i really need to buck up or else i might retain or have to drop subjects..like my pure sci..sigh..
ok..other then acadamic stuffs...sth happened this week..shall not say wat..if u noe it..u noe it..if u dun ..nvm..hmm..after wat happened..im really really hurt..i noe tat things won't really be the same liao..but at least..i hope things will get better..ok..i noe tat exams are coming and i can feel the tension..but after wat has happened..i've not been able to sleep well..i keep thinking if its my fault tat all these has happened...sighs...
im trying not to let all these not important stuffs (as compared to studies) get in my way and obstruct my thinking..and studying..sighs..but im failing to..i mean i juz can't take all these off my mind..hmm..im quite sad and disappointed lor..i din expect all these to happen..sobs..
piano yesterday...sort of got scolded...sighs..my teacher say" i have a student from victoria skool...if he can practise piano everyday for 1 hr..y can't u..he say he leave skool at 7pm everyday..and im sure he has alot more work then u..so i guess its ur time management.." i was like hurt after wat she said..ok..i muz admit tat i din really practise piano at home la..like wat so much work to do..but not like comparing will do any good..sighs..so sian la..the whole day get scolded..
ok..my feelings..i feel tat im very distracted..i duno y also..hmm...i really need to buck up on my studies..but i can't seem too..its like ok la..im like really trying not to tink so much le..but its like no difference..in skool..i might seem happy and all...and i tink im talking more to my friends..but when im alone or at home..im a totally different person..especially when im alone..i start thinking of alot of stuffs tat i dun want to..lets juz take an example..yesterday going to Temasak Poly..i was reading my hp inbox..n i kept thinking of the past memories and the situation now..n i was so sad can..hmm.tats y on the bus on the way back i was like so quiet..hmm..i read le..then like dun want think ..but then hor..cannot help it mah...sighs..almost cry lor..but o wells..i was like controlling my emotions..n i tink i did it quite well..sighs..sobs..
looks like i've been bottling up all my feelings..n i realized im quite emotional these days..like when im alone..i like keep wanting to cry it out..but the point is..i can't cause when im alone at home..im either using the com..or studyin and doing hw..and my parents n sis will tink im crazy..even now as i type this post..im like controlling my tears and all my other emotions..
i need more motivation to study..argh!!! my studies is like shit now...I DUN UNDERSTAD PHY...I CAN'T REALLY RMB CHEM...MY ENG IS NOT TAT GOOD...GEOG IS NOT GOOD EITHER...how?..like im not good in any subjects i took...why?..m i tat useless..argh!!!!..ok i tink i shall not blog le..i hope i can have the discipline not to blog till exams are over..sobs...
ok..tats all for now..ppl please tag..tks ...
to est and jes:
tks for always being so nice and listening to me..tks alot..i really appreciate it..u ppl are really nice friends to have..jia you for exams too k?...hmm..jes..dun so upset le k?..if things are like this let it be lor..we can't do anything liao..ok est...u also dun so sad k...i guess we are really in the same boat..but o wells..dun dispair..i tink we shld all concentrate on exams first....thank you to the both of u...jia you!! god bless...=)
why is it always me?