Tuesday, February 14, 2006
ok..skool has been alright i guess...juz stressful and extremely dissapointing...
i really dunno y im feeling like this these days la..its juz some mixed up feelings...now im beginning to think that i shld not have chosen to do pure science...cause i dunno if i can cope now..im already having problems passing a normal class test...
as for amaths ...my class had 3 class test...i failed 1...pass 1..the last one haven't got back yet..but im very sure its a fail..cause i dun eve noe how to do the question..and its only 1 question....
i really need tuition..!!!! but my mum keeps giving her own reasons..therefore...she tinks i can do without tuition...(which is like totally not true)
ok..down to some problems i have had...
i noe tat this person might not know how much hurt she has caused to me...obviously she dosen't noe..cause she keeps calling me a loser...she keeps saying that i can't make it to get a single digit for o levels and all that shit..she even metioned ths statement: " u noe wat? if u can go into TJC...then the whole skool can" u see i was really hurt when i heard tat...i really dunno y ...but i feel tat she is looking down on me.. so wat if im the stupidest in the class? so wat if i dunno how to certain tings? so wat if i cannot play the guitar? so wat if i cannot do my theory properly? so wat if im useless? so wat if im slow at times? so wat iif i can't speak chinese properly? so wat if i've not done well in test..?? so wat if im the stupidest person she's ever met...
so wat??? does all the above give tat person a reason to call me stupid or iddiot or loser?
i noe tat this person has been mixing with very smart ppl since sec 1...therefore i feel that she does not accept me for who im really am? the reason i say this is because i sit with the person for almost every lesson...and i really can't take it anymore..
to whoever that person is...i really hope that u can be more encouraging and not always putting me down and looking down on me.....im really hurt by wat u said...i also hope that u do not read my blog..cause im sure that u will not really understand my feelings..i would appreciate if u stop gossiping about me to my friends....
okok..with tat aside...
i really dunno wat im feeling now.....i juz feel like crying it all out..i juz feel like talking to someone..but i noe tat not all my friends will understand how i feel...therefore i feel i will keep the rest of my personal problems to myself for now...i seriously tink tat no one would understand my feelings...
I REALLY DUNNO WAT TO DO NOW!!!!
okok..i shall relax a little k...im juz very stress in skool...( my mum obviously dosen't noe tat and i dun want her to noe)...!!!
to jes, isa, nic, becky:
hey..tks for always being my friends and accepting me for who i m...i feel tat u ppl have helped me alot with skool work in one way or other...im really sorry for the times tat i vent my anger and frustrations on u ppl..im really sorry..sorry for the times tat i ignored u..really sorry too..but nonetheless..no matter how i treated u,..i really want to thank u for always being my friends...
i apologize sincerly for any hut i've cause...sorry ppl...
ok..i shall stop here for now..and ppl pls tag my blog!!! tks